Midsummer Freedoms

The arrival of midsummer can be greeted as a reminder and as an opportunity: a reminder to check-in on the intentions that we set at the start of the season, and an opportunity to celebrate the time that we’ve had so far together and make any necessary shifts before the fullness of another school year sets in. And, perhaps we’d like to focus on offering our children new freedoms and increased responsibilities over the coming weeks.

When we consider academic subjects like math and reading, it’s repeated practice and supportive feedback that builds fluency. Independence and autonomy, and the ability to successfully take on more responsibility, is no different. When finding opportunities to offer new freedoms to our children we can consider how their desires relate to their readiness; this conversation can happen during a family meeting, and we can collaborate on how increasing freedoms will be connected to this readiness (ex: through age, skills, consistent choices and behavior, etc.).

And ultimately, the path to learning independence and taking on more responsibility will generally involve some variation of these steps:

1.     Make a plan for being independent/taking on more responsibility

2.     Fail

3.     Receive supportive feedback

4.     Reflect on plan and adjust

5.     Try being independent again

6.     Succeed

7.     Reflect on plan and note what went well so it can be repeated

8.     Try being independent again

As always, failure here can be framed as an opportunity to learn. Remember, the aim is for our children to have lots of practice failing safely and in the comfort of our care before they’re tasked with greater independence and bigger responsibilities.

In offering new freedoms to our children we’re also offering them an extra level of respect, trust, and confidence which can be a powerful parent-child relationship booster, and can be another opportunity for gratitude.