Navigating Disappointment

Opportunities to support our children through disappointment can sometimes seem endless. From friends to grades to sports, letdowns will come in many shapes and sizes throughout childhood. And while our young people are still building the life experience that will ultimately help them to more smoothly navigate setbacks, we can support their emotional development as they build resilience and cope with disappointment.

What helps:

• Listen to their experience

• Validate the big feelings that come with disappointment

• Make a plan for problem solving if the setback is related to something within their control - like studying for a test or practicing for a performance

• Believe in their resiliency

Remember, because our children don’t yet have the context of years of experience within which to place it, the suffering that they feel from disappointment is very real for them at any given moment; our role is not to fix or change their feelings in these moments. And that’s ok. We can remember that the muscles for tolerating disappointment become increasingly robust the more that we flex them.