Theory of mind can be described as the ability to imagine what another person is thinking or feeling; the ability to take someone else’s perspective. This important skill is one of the foundations for building empathy.

As we parent our tweens and teens let’s focus as much as possible on shifting our perspective to all of their goodness, because what we focus on and feed with our validation and love will grow. Gratitude can shift everything.

Research supports the foundations promoted by gentle parenting, and becoming practiced and fluent in these skills can be powerful for our families. Even so, these strategies alone aren’t always effective for every situation.

Often, the older our children get the less information we receive in response to the question of “How was your day?” or “How was school today?”.

We know that healthy boundaries come from “no”. But, what can come before “no”?

A recipe for having conversations about scary events with our school-aged children.

During this parent-teacher conference season let’s lead with curiosity and celebrate progress, while also recognizing areas for growth that will stretch our children.

We do a disservice to our children when we deny them the experience of being told “no”. However, it can be helpful to know that we can often deflate the drama of delivering a “no” by framing our decision within a specific context.

Acknowledging and validating our children’s feelings doesn’t mean that we need to ‘fix’ or change these feelings, nor do we need to shift our expectations.

When our children experience BIG feelings, they rely on the adults around them to offer co-regulation and model strategies to come back to calm.

Transitioning from a sleeping state to a waking state can be a disorienting shift, especially when we’re expected to move into a waking state that has a timeline.

Developing this skill, which is closely related to self-control and has both a behavioral and emotional component, takes time and attention; and, it’s a skill that we can intentionally cultivate within our families.

As we continue to move into the rhythms of this new school year and (re)establish routines, it can be helpful to consider how we bring intentionality to these transitions.